One Step Foward Ten Steps Back

I spent the day worrying. Knowing in my heart of hearts that the end of this phase in my life is near. There are so many variables that matter more than me living away from here. They are too long and complicated for my psyche to discuss just yet. Perhaps, I'll address them slowly. Then, maybe I can take the first step. Things here aren't that bad. They really aren't. I just know that it shouldn't be this hard. There should be more than this. The conversations, jabs, arguments, and the turmoil in my heart that results from them is too much to bear anymore. If I had somewhere to go, I would. Not to leave forever. I just need somewhere that I can go and think without simultaneously trying to hold the world on my shoulders. So far, I know this: I shouldn't have come home that night. I think we would be in a better place if I hadn't.