Working On It

Skittles and I have been having some problems lately (in case you hadn't noticed from previous blogs). We have finally said hello to the purple elephant and have started trying to send it packing. We made a list of pros and cons for each person. Real things like "I feel like I can't talk to you" and "I feel like my opinion doesn't matter". Stupid idiosyncrasies were left off the list. Probably a good thing since my goal was not to make her cry. Side note: She cried anyway.
After each list was compiled we traded and reviewed. My list to her basically said that I can't talk to her and she doesn't talk to me. Her list said that I'm domineering, selfish, and stubborn. While I will agree with one, maybe two of those things, I will adamantly DISAGREE with selfish. There are times that this could be said about me, but for the most part I spend very little time getting what I want. The kicker to her list was that for every con there was an opposite pro. For example, con: "I feel like my opinion doesn't matter and you don't care what I want" and pro: "You always try to give me what I want". WHAT!?! Whatever, that's just her. Wishy-washy and opinions constantly changing. Besides, this wasn't my point. After the revision, clenched jaw, and gritting of teeth we talked about how to fix the issues while still keeping everyone as happy as possible. My point was to write down what I am supposed to be working on, for the world to see.

My items are as follows:

• Try to live without every detail.
• Try to phrase my opinions in such a way that they leave room for others opinions.
• Try to see the gray (in between the black and white).
• Try not to back down when she reacts poorly to something I've said (point out that her reaction is overstated for what I meant).

Her list is relayed in a similar fashion for the things that she needs to work on. I make this process sound so fluid. It was like the fluidity of tar covered boulders passing through a straw. We got there, but we butted heads over most of the issues. The one that took the longest to come to any kind of agreement on was that my opinions over power everyone else's (read: hers). While I am trying to work on my phrasing, I still maintain that some (read: most) of the problem is that she doesn't stand up for her opinion. Hell, most of the time she just says that she doesn't care, when in reality she does. Then she wants to tell me that my opinions are over-whelming. They don't have a choice, but to be when it's the only one on the table.

OK, so I'll step off my mini-soap box now. I'll update you as this progress. My honest opinion is this:

Do I think this will work out? No

Do I want this to work out? With every ounce of my being.