Lying

What to do, what to do? What to do with the wonderful, loving, liar that lives in my house.

We have discovered that Tweedle lies. I'm not talking about lying to get out of trouble or fudging the truth to make a story better. No, I'm talking look you in the eyes and out-and-out lie about the dumbest things.

One such example:
I told Tweedle to get ready for bed. We have the same routine every night. Shower, hair, pick up floor, shake (to gain weight), and teeth. For the last few nights, I have suspected that she couldn't possibly have gotten all these things done in the short amount of time it took her to do them. But, her behavior had been improving so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. My mistake. As I was picking up this or that, I picked up her toothbrush out of the bathroom floor (eeww) and noticed that it wasn't wet. The conversation that followed this discovery involved this 8 year-old child looking me dead in the eyes and bold-faced lying to me several times. First, she told me that she dried her toothbrush with a towel, thus it's lack of wetness. Then when confronted with the dryness of the sink, she dried that, too. Finally, I felt the underside of the faucet and lo and behold, it wasn't wet either. She had no response for this. I kid you not, this child lied to me no less than 10 times about brushing her teeth. I don't understand the motivation. She says she lied because she doesn't like to brush her teeth. She doesn't like it so much, that she is willing to live through the battle that ensued?!?

I don't know what to do with her anymore. Her teachers, her mother, and I are all out of solutions. We have taken half of her crap away, grounded her, used other forms of punishment, upped the dose on her medication, and have been remarkably consistent. I think she's getting worse, not better. I don't have anymore ideas. Perhaps, she should go live with her dad for awhile. Maybe, he can crack through her thick head.

Long Time No Write

Sorry for the delay in a posting. Things at home have been CRAZY! I will be back tomorrow with many stories to tell involving getting lost in a swamp and lying about brushing your teeth.

The Real World

We had a career fair at school today. I discovered that I have know idea what I need to do. I need to meet certain physical requirements, which I can't meet, for the job that I want. There are other options, that don't require fitness, that I could settle for. But, I would never be happy in any of the latter options.

So, I need a fitness expert out there. If I can get in shape by the end of the summer then I can get a piss-ass job until then. If I can't reasonably get to my goal in that amount of time, then I need to look for something more long term.

I think I'm just overwhelmed, here. I've been working so hard trying to get into good enough shape to pass these physical tests, but I can't seem to get there. I can't figure out what hurdle it is I need to jump. I don't know the steps I need to take to get to my goal.

Without this information, I have no idea what avenue to take.
I hate the real world.
School is SO much easier than this.

Weekends

Why must weekends equate to fighting in this house. I swear every single Saturday or Sunday Skittles and I get into it about something. Sometimes it's something big, sometimes small. But, always something.

Today's post will be short. Laundry, painting, school work, and grocery shopping will consume my day. *I will also find time to do something with the girls*

Oh, and fighting.

Joy.

Mediocrity and Habitual Nothingness

When did this happen? How did this happen? I understand how adults can grow apart and live two separate lives in the same house. But, how do you let that happen with your kids? I am so ashamed to admit that the 4 of us lead totally separate lives. We each go to our respective schools and/or jobs and come home. Nightly activities consist of dinner at the table (with the TV on) and TV for the rest of the night. Weekends aren't much different either. They just include errands and a few more meals (still with the TV on). The house is a mess, I'm behind in school, and we never spend time together as a family.

I first noticed the rut we had fallen into about a week ago. I started picking up Tweedle from after-school-care way earlier than usual and we ran together. But, that's about all the headway that I've made. Today, I hit the roof. Last night I decided that today was going to be about spending time together as a family. I spent hours trying to catch up in school so that today would be free. Skittles did NOTHING last night, even though she knew I wanted to do something today. I was mad at her all day and expressed my anger in passive-aggressive ways. Finally, the girls drug her bike-riding (they only rode for 15 minutes) at 7 pm. Seven. O'clock. At. Night. She couldn't be bothered before then because she didn't want to go. She also didn't want to clean the kitchen, sweep the floors, do laundry or any of the other million things that didn't get done last night. In her defense, they did get a little bit done on Bear's room today (it's coming along nicely, by the way). After they got back from bike riding and I got back from running she got an earful (she told me that I didn't give a damn before she left).

The short version of that spiel is this:
Habitual nothingness and mediocre lives are not enough anymore. TV needs to be the exception, not the rule. I'm tired of the excuses. We aren't too tired, we do have time, and we do have the money (bike riding and game playing costs nothing). I can't because I'm out of shape (Skittles's excuse) isn't going to cut it anymore either. Fix it so you can do things with your kids. I hear about all this stuff they do at their dad's house and I read blogs about super-moms who do all these activities with their kids. The detachment isn't good enough. I'm not saying one person is too blame. I am to blame, you (Skittles) are to blame, and even the girls are to blame. But, we are the adults. We, can fix it. This isn't 'it has to get better' anymore. It WILL get better.

Even if it only gets better between me and the girls. It will get better. It breaks my heart to know that I am so detached from them, that I never spend any quality time with them. Only I can put the pieces back together.

Burst Bubble

She didn't make it. She didn't just not make it, she got TWO notes. I have to go mete out punishment. She gets 2 days for the first note and 4 days for the second. And, she loses 2 things for each note.

I really don't want to do this... She has been so good. She almost made it.

I leave you with a heavy heart. I really thought she would make it.

One Can Hope

I'm going to pick up Tweedle from school in a few minutes. I REALLY hope she didn't get a note from school today. She has been note free for 9 school days. At 10 days she gets all her stuff back. This means two things:

1. I get my bedroom floor back (there's A LOT of stuff that was taken away from her)
2. Her behavior is actually getting better!

I hope, I pray, I beg...
Whatever it takes.
Please no note today.

Me, myself, and I

I had an epiphany today. I cannot change those around me, but I can change myself and how I react to those people.

I can love more and hate less.
I can cuddle more and avoid less.
I can talk more and yell less.
I can tolerate more and freak out less.
I can get things done and be lazy less.

I can do these things regardless of the moods and actions of those around me. Perhaps, my change will reflect on to them, but I cannot expect it to do so.

Parents (Not) Acting Like Parents

Why is it that when Jerkwad (Skittles's ex-husband) takes the girls out for the evening that he can't get them home at a respectable time? Why is it hard to understand that getting a child, especially one with ADD, in bed 2 hours late will SEVERELY impede their performance at school the next day?

Let me digress. Bear and Tweedle recently had a cousin born whom is very sick and in the hospital. He (Baby Cousin) was in PICU for a couple of weeks and very, very sick. A few nights ago, he was moved to the normal floor where he can now have visitors. So, Jerkwad decides to take the girls to go see their cousin for the first time. Now, understand, that tonight Tweedle had a soccer game that wasn't over until 7:15. Also understand that Tweedle's bed time is 8:00 and she takes a shower and eats a calorie packed snack before she goes to bed. Additionally, this task is painstaking since, by this point, her medicine has worn off. Disregarding all of this Jerkwad whisks them off to the hospital and comments that they will only stay for a few minutes and then come home.

Yeah. Right. 10:00. He returned them at 10:00! 2 HOURS PAST TWEEDLES BED TIME! So, tonight I had to deal with a whiny, overly-tired 8 year old who is whiny and tired by no fault of her own. Needless to say, she took a shower (only because she had a game tonight) and went to bed. No snack, no vitamin, no teeth brushing, no hair brushing. It won't surprise me if she gets a note at school tomorrow. How can one be so self-centered to not realize that their actions affect their children?

Side note: Jerkwad could have taken them tomorrow, when there is no game, but he had plans. It makes me wonder less about what time they get in bed when they are at his house. I know now that it's not on time.

One more thing. Did Skittles say anything to Jerkwad? Nope not one thing. Not a snide comment or anything. Arrgh. What was one of my posts titled? Oh, right. Grow a spine.

Splish Splash I Was Takin A Bath

Well, OK, I wasn't taking a bath, but Tweedle was. Understand that getting her to get in and out of the shower in less than 45 minutes is a miracle. Needless to say, I cringe and the clock rolling over to 7pm every night. Tonight, she kept me on my toes, though. I go in there to check on her and step in puddles of water.

Me: Umm, Tweedle, why is the floor all wet?
Her: I don't know. I didn't do it.
Me: Whatever, hurry up. (I'm tired tonight and didn't feel like fighting that battle)

20 minutes later I go to check on her again and the floor is remarkably wetter. Additionally, I notice that the shower curtain is WIDE OPEN. Nice.

Me: What are you doing? Why is the shower curtain open?
Her: I don't know. I didn't do it. (Are you noticing a pattern here?)
Me: No, you did do it. What I want to know is what would possess you to take a shower with the curtain open! (I've lost my patience at this point)
Her: I just like it better that way.
Me: Why?
Her: I don't know. It makes it more showery and open and like the rain that isn't inside.
Me: Blank stare

I don't make this stuff up.

Kids. Argh.

My Mosaic

How It Works:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php).
d. Save the image and post it on your blog.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. Favorite drink?
5. Dream vacation?
6. Favorite hobby?
7. What you want to be when you grow up?
8. What do you love most in life?
9. One word to describe you?

The Idiots That Surround Me

OK, if I have a checking account and a credit card through the same back then it should be relatively easy to make a payment to the credit card over the phone. But, no. This would be MUCH to simple. Instead the credit card people are morons who can't seem to get the payment to hit my checking account (AT THE SAME BANK)! Now, I have three, THREE, returned payments along with their accompanying returned check fees billed to my credit card, which STILL has a late payment attached to it.

After fighting with these people for three, THREE, weeks they have finally told me to just give up and pay it online. Well, stupid, I wouldn't have tried to make a payment over the phone at all if the credit card people hadn't called me to tell me my payment was ONE day late. I paid, or tried, to pay this over the phone because they contacted me. After the "conversation" (OK, lashing) that transpired today, they were informed to NEVER call me again since all they can seem to manage is inconveniencing me.

I have NEVER had this many problems with a bank. In fact, I have never had this many problems with THIS bank.

Growing a Spine

If a child argues with you and you give in, then they will learn that arguing (or in this case whining) will get them their way. How can one be shocked when said child argues with EVERYTHING that you say. It is a monster that was created; a behavior that was learned. So, how can one get so frustrated with said child that they are arguing. One minute they get their way and the next minute they are being yelled at for arguing. ARRRGH!

When said child asks me for something and I say no, she says "poo" and goes on about her day. When her mother does the same, 20 minutes of arguing, whining, and possible fit throwing ensue (we are talking about an 8 year old here). Her mother just can't understand why said child's responses vary so much. The answer is easy: When I say do it, I mean do it or else and when I say no, I mean no. This does not seem complicated to me.

Yelling and Painting

Why is it so hard to not yell at the 13 year old. For Bear's birthday we told her that she could paint her room. Great present, right? Right. We thought so, too. Until, that is, we actually started painting. I helped out for awhile, but had to stop due to deadlines for school. Ever since I left, the yelling about Bear, who is ONLY 13, being careless has yet to cease. So far, I hate painting with a passion.

As a side note, the yelling is something that I am constantly trying to nip in the bud. Skittles yells at both the kids. The kids yell at each other. Skittles and I yell at each other as well. I have really, REALLY tried to not yell unless it is absolutely necessary. That is not to say that I don't lose my temper and yell when I shouldn't, but it seems like no one else in this house seems to care. How do you teach kids not to yell when their mom can't seem to stop yelling at them for EVERYTHING?

Hobbits Alive

Bear has to do a project whereby she has to build a 3D model of a Hobbit from the Lord of the Rings. I had to do these stupid kinds of projects in school and I asked the same question that I'm asking now: What does building a model of something for English class teach you? I would really like to know the answer. I have wondered the purpose of these projects all my life.

I let you know how the Hobbit turns out and post pictures.

In Case You Want to Know

Before I start rattling off stories, events, and anecdotes from my life, you probably need to know some background details first. I grew up in Oklahoma with divorced, then remarried, parents. I moved to Texas to go to school and a few years later moved in with my girlfriend (story to come in a moment). I currently live with her, her two daughters, our two dogs, and a cat. Out of respect for every one's privacy their names will be as follows:

My Partner - Skittles
Eldest Daughter - Bear
Youngest Daughter - Tweedle
Pets will retain their actual names

I graduate from school in May with two bachelor's degrees (biology and liberal arts). I intend on becoming a police officer, but we'll see how that turns out. None of my family, nor any of hers, know about our relationship. Everyone on this Earth, except for a VERY small handful, and you, thinks that we are roommates. However, I highly suspect that most know, but haven't had any confirmation.

OK, I told you I give you a story. This is a story of betrayal, love triangles, broken hearts, and my life. When I was 16, I was a mess. Wait I still am! Oh, that's another post. Anyway, I met a girl we'll call Liar, whom I quickly became very attached to. She asked me out and then asked me to prom. I answered yes to the first request and no to the second. At 16 I wasn't ready to show the world, nor myself, my true feelings. Exactly one month later, she broke our relationship off. In a bad game of truth-or-dare I discovered the reason: she was already dating someone. She was dating our mutual friend, her former student teacher. The kicker to this blow is that the other person knew that Liar was going out with me and even encouraged it. You see, this person had her own motives in all of this. She was married and wanted Liar to move on with her life. The problem was that when Liar tried to do just that she got all jealous and discouraged it. The result was me with a broken heart and crushed soul.

As warped as I was, I stuck around and remained friends with them both. When they moved to Texas (Liar lived with her and her husband, and he knew about them) I was lost. I know, right? This just keeps getting better. Just wait, there's more... I finished out high school and some community college then moved to Texas myself. In the interim of this time period, I had a falling out with Liar and she had a falling out with the other person. Liar disappeared from both our lives and in a twisted set of circumstances the other person and I became good friends. Eventually, we became more than friends. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the other person that Liar was dating was Skittles, my current partner.

Skittles and I have been together since April 2002. Skittles and her husband got divorced in March 2008. He, who shall be dubbed Jerkwad, never knew about our relationship. He knows about it now, but has made threats about vying for custody of the children if we ever tell them. Thus, the reason that they don't know. Personally, I think she's just scared of admitting to the world who she really is.

So, in summary, for those of you who are completely confused: I dated Liar. Liar dated Skittles and me at the same time. Liar broke up with me and broke my heart. I remained friends with Liar and Skittles. Liar showed her true colors and bolted. Skittles and I hooked up and are still together. It's poetic justice, but that's just my opinion.

As a side note: I plan to have a child via co-parenting in about two years. Skittles has a "deadline", if you will to decide to tell people. I refuse to lie to my child about who I am. It's not an ultimatum, it's just a deal breaker. Be open when I have a child, or I'm gone.

That's a brief, okay, not so brief, history of my life. At least, those are the pertinent details that you need to know about me for any of my posts to make sense. More details will come in other posts when they are relevant.